Conflicting Feelings
I don’t want to sound like I’m being hyper-critical of my education. There’s so much it did for me, so much I owe to it and some of the amazing professors I had. I grew so much as a person, met one of my best friends, had experiences I wouldn’t have even imagined when I was graduating high school.
But I guess sometimes I just remember the rougher parts of it, or the things that were said to me (probably out of care, and compassion, and a drive to see their students succeed), and I can’t help but still feel that hurt. I know it’s silly, and I know it’s a small drop in the water compared to all of the good, but there’s something to be said that when I feel low about myself and my art, I remember my professor telling me right when I was about to graduate that “you don’t want to be a one-hit wonder”. And I think about that and I’m terrified that I’ve squandered my only chance somewhere along the line and didn’t even realize it.
Do what you love, no matter what.
I have fondness for memories that happened at my alma maters, but no warmth or loyalty to them as institutions. Everyone who taught at my high school is pretty much gone, I never interacted with the vast majority of communities at my undergrad college, and I dropped out of my doctoral program. It’s not like one of your amazing professors is reaching out to you personally, it’s just the anonymous machinery of a business. Not only do you owe “them” nothing, there’s not even a “them” to owe. Just an it.