About October 2023

Dec08
by on December 8, 2023 at 5:05 pm

ON OCTOBER A series of four panel comic pages, rendered in green and magenta. In the first panel, a leaf floats through the air with many others. The narration begins: "It feels like October just flew by." The scene blends from the first to the second panel, showing the tree that leaves are falling from and Emily, clad in a light jacket and beanie, breathing out a stream of warm air. The narration continues: "A month of rest." In the third panel, Emily sits at a bar with her friends, as another friend approaches from behind, greeting her with "happy birthday!" She retorts in response, "whaaa nooo what the fuck who told you?!" as the narration observes the scene: "of celebration-" In the fourth panel, Emily and Em walk down a city sidewalk after a show. The narration frames the scene as "of refueling," as Em ribs Emily, "oh, you really connected with the play about throwing yourself at a wall over and over again? What a surprise." Emily laughs sheepishly. The fifth panel returns to the scene with the leaves and Emily standing by the river. Her back is to the camera. The narration observes: "a month to reset." In the sixth panel, we zoom in on Emily as she looks pensively up into the air. The narration continues: "For longer than I can remember--I've been driven by a need to create." In the seventh panel, we pan down and see a small rock sitting by Emily's shoe. The narration continues: "I want to tell stories, of course, but deeper still--" In the eight panel, Emily holds the rock in her hand, between her thumb and index finger. The narration continues: "It's the need to prove--no--justify my being here, alive, taking up this time and space." In the ninth panel, Emily winds up to skip the rock. The narration continues: "as if it was something I needed to apologize for." In the tenth panel, the rock flies from her hand through the sky. The narration frames this action with: "'If I make this, contribute enough, I'll fulfill my purpose, I'll prove that the trust was worth it, that I'm worthy of--" In the eleventh panel, the rock plunks unceremoniously into the river. The narration continues: "This insecurity has lain at my foundation for so long." In the twelvth panel, Emily stands, sheepishly rubbing the back of her head at her failure. The narration continues, "It cannot be dismantled so quickly." In the thirteenth panel, Emily slowly opens the door to her apartment. The narration continues, "But this month I found ways to take a sledgehammer to it instead of just a chisel." In the fourteenth panel, her hat hangs next to her keys by the door. "Maybe that jostled a few larger stones loose," the narration goes on. In the fifteenth panel, she finishes pouring hot water into a mug with a tea bag in it. The narration continues, "And while I don't know how long it'll take to break down these ideas I punished myself with for years--" In the sixteenth panel, Emily sits at a table with the mug of tea, eye closed, smiling and content. The narration concludes: "I like whoever I'm becoming as I clear away the rubble."

Thanks as always for reading. See you next week.

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